Danny was a beautiful child whom we took from an institution when he was five and adopted a few years later. He had CP and a seizure disorder. His CP was very constraining in that he was confined to a wheelchair and could not speak orally. He eventually required a G-tube for feeding and several orthopedic surgeries for his hips and spine. He was labeled profoundly retarded but when I saw him, looked into his eyes I saw a real child in there even at five. He smiled and cried appropriately and spoke eloquently with his facial expressions.
When he was in 8th grade he leaned to use a communication board to speak and we found out just how wonderful he truly was. He was like pure spirit, like a completed soul. I think he was here to do certain things, to influence others and to teach in a most profound way.
I knew two years ago that he was growing tired and I think he knew that he would be leaving soon. He told us that he wanted to do 3 things before he died. One was to visit his mom's grave, the second was to meet his real dad, and the third was to turn 18. He did all three and died half way into his 18th year. His last week was filled with joy and he appeared to be healthier and in less pain than ever.
Then on a Tuesday morning after waking for a position change at 2:00 was found dead 4 hours later. He appeared to be sleeping, his eyes closed and a tiny smile on his lips. The autopsy showed that he died of natural causes, that for some yet undetermined reason his brain stopped telling his heart to beat. They are still studying his brain, I'm sure they will find some way to label his death in some fashion that will suit their paperwork, but I believe that he just left. That he had accomplished what he had been here to do and that he left quietly and without struggle. They worked on him for 30 minutes in the ambulance and at the hospital to no avail and when they let me in the room to see his body I walked over to it and knew he had left, that he had left willingly and before I began to cry I smiled just slightly and whispered, "good for you Dan." I don't know why I did that and some people that it was odd, but I sensed his freedom, his joy and in an odd sort of way I was happy for him.
He was absolutely one of the most pure souls I've ever met in this life. For all his physical troubles, his emotional traumas and his years of being locked up in that body he never expressed bitterness or resentfulness. He never once felt sorry for himself or asked 'why me'. He never judged the actions of others and you know, He loved me 'better' than most other people I have known. There were 80 or 90 people at his service, one a special needs classmate who had ridden his bicycle to the service wearing a suit and tie who said, "I was one of Dan's friends." Many at the service shunned me, (that’s a long story) and Dan would have hated that, but I lit the candles upon the alter I set up myself and I comforted those who came for comfort and that made him proud. His message did touch some he met, most in fact and it wouldn't surprise me if he stays in the realm of spirit and is ready to be a guide.
If Only All The Hands That Reach Could Touch...
-Betsy-
August 1998
|
| Back to Musings |
Graphics and content are copyrighted© 1999 by Betsy Foster, except as otherwise noted. HTML and scripting are copyrighted© 1999 by Edward Hall and GreyLight Internet. Last updated on
.