Chapter 25, The Picnic

Keira was on the porch lacing her sneakers the next morning when Aliza stopped by to walk with her to Crystaline's for the picnic meeting.

"You look tired this morning, Keira."

"Yes, some, I had an awful dream."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Thank-you, Aliza, but I'm almost getting used to them."

"We don't have to leave this early, I could come back for you."

"Oh, no, really, I'm okay. Besides I'd really like to see Crystaline's place before the meeting. What is the picnic meeting anyway?"

The two women had started walking. They moved into the clearing and turned right through the trees just on the other side of the bench.

"It's an outdoor meeting we have in the spring. We have it at Crystaline's because the water from the mountain off the ledges beside her place."

"I'm not understanding something."

"What's that, Keira."

"I understand that you, Crystaline and Zena live here. But I thought the others just came for vacations or something, but Samantha appears to be settling in for some time."

"Oh, yes. Well Samantha and a couple of the others work in the cities for the winter season. They spend spring and summer here. Samantha plants, tends and harvests the garden. Now Maya lives here year round also. She lives in a small cabin just beyond the store. She and Rosamond share that cabin for the summer. Rosamond is a physical education teacher during the school year. She comes for this week, spring break in the schools, then she'll come back mid-June and stay until September."

"But, I thought she was here earlier at the first meeting?"

"Oh, I bet she was. Her job is close enough so that she comes on weekends when she can. She likes to come and work in the workshop."

"What kind of workshop?"

"Wood working. She crafts a lot of furniture, but she does other things too."

"The desk in the cabin? Did she do that?"

"Yes, I believe so. She made most of the furnishings around here. Oh, the bench. In your clearing, she did that too."

"She is very talented."

"That she is, but then aren't we all once we find ourselves?"

"Keira smiled silently, find ourselves, seemed like something clean out of the sixties. One of her cousins had been involved in that whole era. Nobody quite knew what to do about him, out looking for himself, instead of finding work and being productive. Keira, who'd been ten or eleven at the time remembered how upset her grandmother had been, how she'd been so mean to Jeffery's mother. "Now, Susan, how do you expect him to make anything of himself, out there looking for himself, where does he think he has gone anyway? None of us ever had to bum around in painted buses, sleeping God only knows where, eating God only knows what, to find ourselves and we all turned out just fine."

Aunt Susan hadn't been able to say anything to console her mother, but that's the way grandmother always was. It seemed like no one dared cross her, not even other adults. Keira had been afraid of her, but she had been a child. The fact that adults feared her frightened Keira even more.

The walk to Crystaline's was closer than Keira had imagined. She and Aliza stepped out into a small clearing. Keira followed Aliza across the grass to the edge of a large pool of water.

"The water is particularly clear today, Crystaline."

"Yes, Aliza, the cool morning helps to settle the pool."

Crystaline offered her hands to Keira who took them in a warm clasp.

"I'm so pleased that you're here, Keira."

"Thank you, I've been looking forward to it."

"Come, I'll show you around."

The drop of the waterfall was directly behind Crystaline. She and Keira walked toward it where the rush of moving water and its collision into the pool sounded inside Keira's head.

"It is quite beautiful, Crystaline."

Crystaline nodded, "This is where we'll hold our meeting today."

Keira looked to a clear grassy area that spread like a velvet carpet from the edge of the quiet depth of the pool. Froth from the pools source expanded and rolled out to the point where the movement disappeared, the surface smoothed out, becoming so clear it reflected the tops of the trees and shown a perfect shadow from a bird that flew overhead.

"It's like a mirror."

"Yes, the stillness, the quiet reflection after the turbulent fall."

"Like resting."

"Something like that. Would you like to see my home?"

Keira followed Crystaline across the grassy area to an arched wooded door that led directly into the side of the mountain.

"A cave, you live in a cave?"

The notion surprised Keira made her feel uneasy; she hesitated before following Crystaline.

"It's comfortable."

Keira stepped into a large hollowed room with smooth gray walls decorated with various tapestries. A small day bed, a table, two chairs, an old dome trunk, a wall wardrobe, a small wood stove and a standing cabinet made up the furnishings. A thick carpet covered the floor while soft florescent light cast a cozy feel to the room.

Just when Keira thought this was all there was she noticed a heavy quilted blanket that hung as a door to another room. Crystaline pulled the quilt back introducing Keira to Crystaline's workroom.

Crystaline stood quietly by while Keira wandered the workroom reaching out to touch the tall spinning wheel, the large loom and the tall wooden cupboard filled with yarns and fabrics.

A straight wooden chair much like the ones in the cabin sat in front of the loom. A wide rocker with a high back and flat smooth arms sat directly under an iron lamp that hung on a chain from the ceiling. A modern sewing machine capable of stretch and zig zag stitching sat close to a long polished table.

A deep double sink with two round silver wash tubs on the floor next to it took up the better part of one rounded wall.

"This room is so much larger than the one you live in."

"I only sleep and eat out there. This is where I do my work."

"You sew?"

"Among other things. I design most of the fabric, yarns and clothing that we use right here in this room."

"The fabrics are so simple but so colorful and practical. I'm impressed."

Crystaline laughed. "Thank you Keira, I enjoy my work from gathering and coloring the wool and cotton to designing the garments and accessories."

Keira was drawn to the shelves where she reached out to touch a fold of familiar blue material. She turned her hand upside down stroking it with the top of her hand, traced across the raw edge with one index finger and tried to place the familiarization of it. She reached back in her mind for a clue for where she'd seen this exact material before. Light blue lighter than sky blue pale with a hint of aqua, heavy flowing material cotton perhaps 100 percent, cool with a sense of movement and freedom. A simple design, nothing like anything she had ever worn but something she had experienced, open, flowing but with intricate bodice design in eggshell lace woven lace not frilly but strong and delicate, Odell, a picture of Odell wearing the dress, Keira standing back watching Odell float around the room, Keira touching the material asking about the dress. Odell's soft familiar voice answering.

"I've had it a really long time, from Kunda, I brought it back from the mountain."

Keira spoke aloud, dreamily as if to herself. "My grandmother; she had a dress made of this material."

"That's right. I remember it. I made it during the time she visited here."

"I saw it only once. She was wearing it, then she took it off and I never saw it again."

Once outside Keira noticed that someone had placed large cushions in a circle on the grass. A small but steady flaming fire had been started in the center. Others had arrived and stood chatting with one another, some hugging in greeting others wandering quietly by the waters bank.

"You made all their clothes, Crystaline?"

Keira felt odd in her jeans and sneakers. All the others wore colorful tunics and full skirts. Nothing covered their feet as they walked on the velvet grass. Keira wished she'd worn the dress after all or that she had brought something else from home, but then all her skirts were cotton polyester blends straight cuts business like not full and soft, not like these at all.

"You look fine, Keira."

Keira looked down at her jeans then to Crystaline.

"Really, Keira, there are no rules for attire, each wears what is comfortable for them."

"They certainly look comfortable."

"So do you, Keira."

Zena opened the meeting with her soft tone which grew stronger and louder the longer she spoke.

"Here we are once again, another spring on Kunda; the cycle begins anew. All things are waking from winter rest. We come together in celebration and welcome to all these things. We keep in mind that it is time to plant for another season, time to prepare the soil for seed, to nurture the seedling then the plant until it is time to harvest that which we have helped Mother Earth to grow."

Crystaline rose extending a hand to Keira. Keira rose and was led to a tall thick tree near the bank of the pool. Keira sat with her back against the trunk. Crystaline walked to the waters edge while the others came and sat on either side of Keira using themselves to form a circle that included Keira leaning against the tree and Crystaline sitting near the pool. Keira felt something familiar filling her from beneath, the tree, she remembered the tree and leaned harder against it.

Keira looked to the water fall where the falling water made contact with the pool. Tiny reflections sparked in the misty spray. She wondered how things would have been different had Odell chosen differently. She wondered if Odell had sat here in this grassy place beside the fall. She wondered about the women who may have sat with her what they may have talked about, the discoveries they may have made, the decisions they may have shared. She thought about her mother and her father and how things may have been different had they not died.

Crystaline spoke her voice carrying across the circle like a solid whisper on the wind.

"This is the flow of water that sustains the mountain and all that lives here and beyond. It begins at the top where hundreds of brooks rush with melting ice and snow. The twist and wind cutting paths wherever they can until up there at some point they run one into another forming this main supply. This joined force can now move swiftly cutting through ledges and stopping as it does here over the rocks where it settles to rest for a bit in the pool, then travels on a slower more steady pace distributing itself to supply all the living things below with the properties it has gained from all it's journey. The pool, its depth, its stillness is an essential piece of the journey."

Crystaline tossed a pebble onto the still reflection of the pool at its center.

"Tell me, Keira, what do you see?"

Keira turned to Aliza questioning with her eyes; Aliza answered first with a nod of her head then with soft whisper words, "Go ahead, let yourself go and say whatever comes to you."

Keira turned back to the pool, she spoke slowly carefully at first, "A splash, an interference in the calm of the surface, a dent where the stone fell through, it has opened a hole and descends to the depths, then faster, it gains speed, rushes toward the bottom; if there is a bottom, it pulls me in after it, pulls faster and harder, falling into the depths, it falls into darkness becomes swallowed up in darkness, I can't see where its going, if there is a safe place to land, I can't see it anymore it just got swallowed up."

Keira startled. Shook her head and gulped at the air for breath.

Aliza and Maya on either side of Keira reached for her hands. They held tight while Crystaline spoke.

"It's all right, Keira. Go ahead and catch your breath. Breathe deeply a few times. We're right here; its all right."

Keira leaned back against the tree and breathed deeply while Aliza and Maya smoothed the tops of her hands and Crystaline's soothing voice continued to instruct breathing and ensure safety.

"Keira, open your eyes and look at me."

Keira met Crystaline's eyes with her own but looked away immediately casting them to the ground where she looked at nothing.

"Keira, its all right look here at me."

Keira was able to do so but felt the increased beating of her heart inside her chest and tiny beads of perspiration bead up on her upper lip.

"It's all right, Keira. Another time, you'll follow the pebble another time."

"Not without drowning," Keira choked on the words.

"We'll see, Keira, we'll see." Crystaline handed Keira a wet cloth as she spoke.

Keira reached for the cloth, took hold of it and used it to wipe her face and neck. She took several more deep breaths then accepted an ice cold cola from Samantha who knelt before her on the ground, not smiling but not frowning either. Keira thought about how difficult Samantha was to read, she never seemed to know how to take her.

It was twilight when Aliza and Zena walked with Keira back to the cabin. Keira invited them in, but they wanted to get down to the store before dark so they said good-night at the door.

It seemed strange to say good-night to someone, it seemed like a very long time since she=d done that. The cabin felt empty. Empty in a sad way, different than the empty she=d first experienced being there.

Keira put the dress from Aliza's on, sat curled into the corner of the sofa and read from Grimm Fairy Tales, she remembered the paper she had done a long time ago for a child development class. Children's Literature, fairy tales vers reality had been the title; she couldn't remember if she had been read fairy tales as a child or not, if she had she didn't remember it. She flipped through the thick book, reading the ones that jumped out at her. She read one about red shoes that she'd never heard of and another she'd never heard of about a seal.

Keira didn't know how long she'd been reading, but she suddenly became aware of the night and knew there must be a full moon because she could see silver light beyond the trees through the picture window.

She thought about the pool as she lay in her bed, she wondered if the moon reflected off the surface. She envisioned it as she drifted off to sleep, she reached out with one piano finger and touched the reflection sending ripples all the way out to the edges where they disappeared into the soft dirt banks.

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